Grade: B
To put it simply, Disturbia is a modern day version of an American classic, except that it replaces heart-wrenching suspense for blood, skin, and a scene nominated for MTV's Best Kiss Award. That's never a good sign.
Now, don't get me wrong. It was an enjoyable flick, the quintessential popcorn movie -- the foreshadowing of Shia LeBeouf's entire career. But when you remake one of the greatest thrillers of all time (Rear Window) created by one of the greatest directors of all time (Alfred Hitchcock), you better do the job to near perfection. Because otherwise, you're a) putting yourself up for a harsher critique than you deserve and b) exposing the studio as a money-hoarders. Which they are, but the best ones try to hide that fact.
So here's the quick rundown: Boy loses father. Boy becomes rebel. Boy is sentenced to house arrest. Pause in film's plot to introduce hot girl and sidekick minority friend. Laugh laugh, kiss kiss. Cue the AWs and back to the film. Boy thinks he sees murder. Boy cries wolf. Boy was wrong. Rinse and repeat. Predictable ending. Boy gets girl (in case that wasn't implied through "predictable ending.)
So what did the film do well? As much as I can bash LeBeouf's movies, I enjoyed his performance. He knows how to pick his summer popcorn movies. And heck, it's the summer. David Morse does a tremendous job as the movie's villain, sending shivers down the spine of every 12-year old and below. And even though Disturbia never trusted the script and the actors to carry the film -- instead chickening out by morphing into a slasher flick -- they at least kept the main pieces of Rear Window in tact.
So the lesson is even when you mess with perfection, perfection's debris will still be good enough to earn you over a hundred million dollars.
The bad news: a sequel is already in the talks.
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