Film Review: 27 Dresses (2008)

Grade: D+

Ah, how I long for a good chick flick, a genre that I will defend to its death or at least till a divorce do us part. But movies like 27 Dresses make that job awfully difficult. They conform to all the chick flick stereotypes with all the negative connotations.

Predictability is often welcome in a good chick flick, because it welcomes the commonplace, the settings and people and feelings we are used to. But when predictability meets absurdity (a woman who is not only a bridesmaid 27 times, but double stuffs the weddings too), it makes the head spin a little. The chemistry never works for Katherine Heigl and James Marsden, a shame after Heigl's hit performance in Knocked Up and Marsden's first role as leading man instead of charming man who gets dumped (Enchanted, X-Men (all three), Superman Returns, and The Notebook). Everything feels forced, trying to tell jokes that are never funny and relating a story that is never touching.

It doesn't even reach the chick flick status of being so dumb and stupid that you enjoy it. It's a chick flick in search of an identity, not knowing how to be unique and bankable at the same time. I'm not sure what this type of film appeals to, maybe if you were a girl that has dreamt about marriage since you were four...or maybe if you've felt like a girl who has always been neglected. If the former, then I feel sorry for you. If the latter, the film still shouldn't work for you because 9 out of 10 actual girls will choose James Marsden over Ed Burns (in the year 2008). Sad for me to say this, but maybe the movie would've been better if Marsden was the charming who gets dumped.

It's a film to leave at the altar, or else you'll feel cheated later on.

Film Review: 21 (2008)

Grade: C

I am a sucker for anything that involves Vegas, gambling, or college kids. Not just films that involve those aspects. Anything. So when 21 came along, satisfying all three genres, I was getting more excited than hitting a set on the river against bullets. Throw in one of my all-time favorites, Kevin Spacey, into the mix and you've got yourself a winner...right? But like many cheap thrills in Sin City, this one comes away as a disappointment.

What made this film so bad was not just because it was bad, but because it had such a great premise to work with and failed anyway. A bunch of genius college kids who bring down the house in Vegas. You could've went with any angle on this story, but 21 ditches the true account for a below-average thriller that comes off hardly believable. It substitutes thinking man techniques at the casino for silly MTV-style montages stolen from The Real World: Las Vegas. It substitutes built-in suspense for dissatisfying drama. It even substitutes a blackjack team comprised mainly of Asian men for snappy dressed, good-looking men and women stolen from Gossip Girl.

I think the actors even realized how ridiculous the film was becoming. They thought they had signed on to an intriguing storyline, but as it was clear the true story was being botched, Spacey's and Lawrence Fishburne's acting went down the tubes, working on autopilot to save this stinker from up-and-coming overpaid actors (Jim Sturgess, Kate Bosworth) flopping at roles every chances they get.

Unlike the great Rounders, 21 dumbs down its movies, never fully respecting the story or the audience that expects it. It cheapens everything down in an effort to achieve Hollywood blockbuster success, and for that, it fails to be a good movie or a Hollywood blockbuster success. The film is another example of why "based on true story" movies should be kept under close watch and only made when we have to, and also an example for why remakes are necessary...for at least the bad movies anyway.

Film Review: Jesus Camp (2006)

Grade: B+

As a Christian, I anticipate these types of movies (Saved! and Religulous) with an interesting blend of fear and excitement. Fear of the minute chance that its criticism of my faith will ultimately destroy one of it's foundations. And excitement that another perspective can stimulate my growth that exceeds the stereotypes and Sunday sermons.

And though I can say both with disappointment and relief, that I am still the same person now as I was before watching the film, Jesus Camp did deliver on what was expected of it: serving a thin slice of conservative Christian America. Filmmakers Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady allow the people to a) make complete fools of themselves and b) express their passion for something they will believe to the grave. It's the type of refreshing documentary that understands how to always show, never tell.

Pastor Becky Fischer is the head of the Christian summer camp, trying to raise up an army of Christian soldiers from the ground up. Brainwashing or providing an anti-culture is up for you to decide while we enter the lives of three home-schooled Missouri children whose personalities are sometimes disturbing, and sometimes hysterical.

What was most enjoyable for me were the personal battles raging within during the film. Defense mechanisms fought off subtle claims that a radical love for Jesus was hurting our world. Meanwhile, I have to come to terms with how far insecure Christians will go while forgoing the message of Jesus. Despite all that, it's sad that the audience doesn't see that most of these children turn out okay; we do not become carbon copies of Pat Robertsons in America. Instead, the only adults we see in this film are camp counselors like Ms. Fischer and a weird (to say the least) scene involving the pre-shamed Ted Haggard.

Another fault of this film is voice of God credibility lent to radio talk show host Mike Papantonio. Every fifteen minutes or so, we hear his one-man commentary about the absurdity of neo-conservative Christians until he ultimately confronts Ms. Fischer on his program. But like all radio talk shows, the host always wins, always gets the last word, and always hangs up on the caller. Whatever he says goes, and the filmmakers almost wanted us to trust his commentary.

Not that a documentary should be unbiased, but it should strive to reveal deeper understandings for the motives or the reasons behind what see on the screen. Jesus Camp is interesting and entertaining for sure as an above-average film, but as a very good documentary, it falls just a tad short.

Film Review: Swing Vote (2008)

Grade: C

If Swing Vote was a person, he would be your typical collegiate student spewing out political cynicism on the quad, pretending to sound intelligent while offering nothing original. If only big names could save this drowning campaign, but they don't. Bland performances can't.

Some political comedies fail because they're not funny and they try to achieve too much. This political comedy fail because well, it's not funny and they don't really try to achieve anything at all. Bud Johnson, the all-American loser from Texas, gets a chance to have his vote really be counted for something. And predictably, the two presidential candidates sacrifice their opinions, values, and morals to win. By the end, we have a multitude of Full House realizations. The only thing missing was a Beach Boys cameo. It's okay though, Willie Nelson came through.

In my humble opinion, cynicism is almost never useful or proactive, just an immature, unsophisticalted, and lazy method to filter thoughts. But cynicism reigns king in this film, as their voice of God comes from Mr. Johnson's young daughter, Molly (fitting). Meanwhile, the adults play naive voters who are easily convinced by a politician's tricks.

At its essence, Swing Vote screams for a third political party that can relate to a common man's troubles. So if that was the point Kevin Costner and writer/director Joshua Michael Stern was trying to make, it's a conclusion/solution that's overwhelmingly archaic and simple in this year's political yarn. And if they weren't trying to make a point, just wanting to entertain in the midst of 20-plus debates this year, they didn't do a very good job of that either.

Film Review: In the Name of the Father (1993)

Grade: A-

In the Name of the Father is at its core, a father-son movie, a romantic masterpiece for men. I'm not usually a fan of anything with a "based on a true story tagline," but this is the rare exception when great acting carries a weak script and "true story" pitfalls.

Daniel Day Lewis plays Gerry Conlin, a petty thief who was wrongly accused for an act of terrorism in the UK. And in the same vein as Shawshank, he is imprisoned for life. Except this time, his father is one of the co-conspirators. It may not leave the same legacy as Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne, but it sure comes close. One could argue Lewis had a tougher role. Whereas Dufresne is a model citizen that is never broken down by a maximum security prison, Conlin is immature and young, passionate and honest, human. We see his growth from disobedient boy to a man carrying the burden and the joy of his father's name.

It never made me want to call my daddy and tell him that I love him. But a sense of Irish pride or male pride or family pride rises up in me, achieving almost the same thing as Braveheart -- the kind of movie men dream about but only get once every couple of years.

Film Review: Michael Clayton (2007)

Grade: B

Michael Clayton is everything that you've heard, well deserving of every accolade given to them. The entire cast is pitch perfect, pulling you to the edge of your seat into the world of law of all things. Clooney, Wilkinson, Swinton, O'Keefe, and Pollack all show you why they are some of most well-respected powerhouses on the big screen. Every change in inflection and volume, every glare and every twitch, they impact the audience and bring life to the script. The screenplay and directing itself is a new kind of a thriller, an intellectual one that questions what we all suspected: the morals of high-venture law.

So why the mediocre grade? Simple. I was bored. I admire those who are able to enjoy this work of art from beginning to the end. It's not a mass movie, and it's not like I'm a mass viewer: just need a little bit of both. Similar to a tree that falls down and no one is there to hear it, what good is a great movie that doesn't hold the attention of the average moviegoer?

I cannot pinpoint what Tony Gilroy could've done differently or how he could've written it differently. But at the end of the day, movies are for someone's enjoyment. And this one didn't enjoy it.

Film Review: P.S. I Love You (2007)

Grade: D

Sometimes, it's not enough to make a grown man get choked up in the middle of the night. Your movie can still suck. It's not enough to cause a phone call expressing my undying love to my girlfriend. Your movie can still be unintelligent. Sparking emotions is usually a clear sign for an effective movie that does what it set out to do. But this is a cheap spectacle, using death and love in the same sentence, the same gimic for a tearjerker gone 90 minutes too long.

There is almost nothing good I can say about this movie. It's an unconvincing film that shows Hillary Swank should stick to Oscar dramas, Lisa Kudrow should stick to television, and Gina Gershon should stick to the 90s. It's told from a female's perspective and it shows because no guy I know can fully relate to any of the three men in the movie. Gerard Butler is charming, no doubt, but can someone be too perfect? Yes and its a no-no in romantic comedies. Male or female. Dead or alive. That's why John Cusack works. Jeffrey Dean Morgan (aka Denny from Grey's Anatomy) serves as the exotic European further proving why British men are better lovers. Problem is his connection to the film is mere ridiculousness. Why does a film try to be realistic and at the same time, hold onto the fantastical chick flick motifs? And Harry Connick Jr. is your bumbling American who plays the best friend who can't get some. And my review of him? Stick to singing. We never care about him, and he remains in the loser fold, never endearing himself to the audience. Leave this role to John Cusack.

And as previously noted, it's too long, running a whole 2 hrs and 10 minutes. That's a mere sitcom away from Batman Begins. That's for a movie that runs on one premise -- getting over a perfect man who died too early in life and in the film -- before the opening credits. I can see why respected actors signed up for P.S. I Love You. It's a new idea for the overdone chick flick genre. It's emotional. And it's got Gerard Butler half naked and Denny fully naked. So I guess it's not surprising that I left this movie feeling cheap, feeling spent and used...with my emotions on the carpet floor, wasted.